Know the Red Flags
Some consequences in life are obvious. Run out of bounds, get a
penalty. Drive 40 mph in a school zone, get a ticket. Relationships
aren’t that clear, but they do have their own consequences. Dismiss
degrading words and actions by saying, “he’s not that way all the
time,” “she’s just insecure,” “you know I didn’t mean to hurt you,”
or “but he really loves me,” and they almost always get worse over
time. Dating violence doesn’t start with a slap. And even if things
never escalate beyond control and verbal abuse, the consequence is
still serious – a loss of freedom, respect, happiness, and even
safety. Things we all deserve.
You may need to raise a red flag if you see or suspect
that one person in a relationship…
- Has gotten the other to the point where they’re “not quite
- Makes the other person constantly question
their actions or personality.
- Calls or text messages the other
- Monitors the other person by screening their
call logs, phone bills or e-mails.
- Is always showing up
unannounced at the person’s home, work or hangouts.
- Tells the other what to do, what to wear or how to act.
- Embarrasses the
other in public or private through insults or degrading comments.
- Acts jealous a lot and frequently accuses the other person of things
(cheating, flirting, etc.).
- Keeps the other person from doing the
things they enjoy in life.
- Doesn’t ever want the other person to
spend any free time with family and friends.
- Controls how the
other spends money.
- Uses money as a tool to keep the other person
from doing things – or to make them do things.
- Shows or hints at
an explosive temper.
- Physically harms the other person, or
- Forces the other person to do something sexual,
even if it’s something the couple has done before.
- Threatens to
harm themselves if the other person leaves the relationship.
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